But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
