You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
