Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
