Swine flu. Run for my life!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
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