those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
