i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
