Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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