VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
