Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
