What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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