yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
