What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize