he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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