Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Come see our sink grown plant.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
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