She said her name was "party"
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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