It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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