Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
