broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
