Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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