Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
