The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
