he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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