man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
is that a dick in a sweater?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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