VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Your dad touched me again.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
