Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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