Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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