Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize