Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
