what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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