So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
