A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
