sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
