I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
