Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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