what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think a kid would responsible me up
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
