she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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