we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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