very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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