Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I am mentally ready for anal.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
