so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
