FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
