i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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