she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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