She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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