guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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