called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
