READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
