I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
