There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Randomize
