oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
