There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
