And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
