I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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