My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
