Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
