do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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