he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
