I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
