I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
